The past few months have been so much
different than the last 8 years. 8 years since that 4 am glimpse of you, your
ponytail hair, pink shirt, i guess, with your mom and as I saw you I was
talking in my head "Oh no!! Not a girl." And if it had not been you,
I would have been different, my life would have been different and this story
would have been different.
7th grade, she was roll number 65 and me
64. This is where it all started. A simple, talkative girl with the worlds
beautiful smile and most generous heart was behind me for the remaining 7th
grade. We shared a computer in the lab, and some answers in the exams. I
could not have been happier, because it was you, it was that smile, that
beautiful face, and that voice. I didn't know it back then but seeing it today
I was in love with this girl. And me being not so handsome, not so sweet guy
how could i even think of her loving me back. But I always had hope, that one
day she will.
Days passed, we grew older, things
changed, people around us changed, friend circle changed but the feeling in my guts after seeing you didn't change. I always wanted to tell you what I felt
about you but I think I was waiting for the right time. I mean how could I? That
one move could make you stop talking to me. I could not let that happen, no not even in my dreams. So time passed by and we were cool, I never knew your feelings
towards me and never shared mine. Just with the hope that one day we'd be
together, that one day she will be mine.
Since you were so gorgeous, even my
friends had shown interest towards you. So one of them made the move, before i
could ever tell you what I felt, it was my friend that had done it. Although he
was rejected and no one was happier than I, but there is no bigger sin than
having crush on your friends crush. And I didn't want to go to hell. May be it
was a sign god sent so that I'd stop loving you. But I always had hope,
that one day you will be mine.
My heart just broke into millions of
pieces, when I heard that you liked a boy. I found my eyes getting watery and a
weird pain on left side of my chest, it was something new, that pain was
something I never felt before. I thought of everything that night. If!! was the
only thing in my mind. If I had told what she meant to me earlier may be this
day wouldn't have come. If I had gone to the same college, that boy could have
been me. But I wanted to go there, only to be rejected, dunno why and how. May
be it was another sign god gave me to stop sinking deeper in love. But some
part of my broken heart still had hope, that one day she will be mine.
Life is amazing. You never know what will
happen in your life next. Life is no different than those in the movies; it can
be even more dramatic and unpredictable. Heard she broke up with that guy. It
was party time for me. Every cell of my humongous body was happy. Yes God is
there. After this, I felt a unique connection with her, one that I never felt
before. May be hope is a good thing and may be no good dies in this world.
Those times when you smiled and those moments when I stared at you and you said,
"What?" and I replied, "nothing". But that nothing meant, "You
are the most beautiful thing ever. I love you. I can live my entire life
staring at your beautiful face, your beautiful smile. I want to grow old with
you. Just say yes and I'll put all the happiness in this entire world in front
of you." God was listening to what I wished. The hope, that one
day she will be mine, is coming true.
Life is amazing and you never know what
will happen in your life next. I never knew why but you'd changed. I felt that
I was just a formality for you now. That sweetness and that care had gone
missing all of a sudden. May be it was something I've done. So during the
process of trying to get my friend back I did something crazy.
I took her to a fine dining restaurant; the
path to the tables was decorated in red roses just for her. She was amazed,
shell shocked and excited. The table had a candle, a red one, burning slowly.
Then I pulled the chair for her to sit and on my knees I took out the diamond
ring from my pocket and asked her, “Will you marry me??” She said yes and the
violin began to play, the rose petals fell. We kissed and danced through the
night.
Well that was how I imagined how I’ll
propose her. But “I love you, I want to grow old with you” was all that I could
say and that was in a text, not even face to face. She replied, “No. Nothing between
us matches. And I’ve always thought of you as a friend and nothing more.”
Shattered and broken. I decided not to talk to her. I had to move on. But how
could I, 8 years and now all of a sudden how can I forget her? What about the
hope that one day she will be mine?
So many memories shared, the love of my
life, I was crazy about you, some part of me still is, but life doesn’t end
with one person. A part of me hates you for not loving me, but you will always
be the one, my first love, that broke me, that made me a man I am right now,
that made me accept the fact that not everything in life goes the way you think
and want to, that girl whose smile drove me crazy and it still does. I wish
whoever you are with, may he love you more than I ever did, and may he give you
all the happiness you deserve. No regrets on loving you.
THE END
