Dear pumpkin,
You say we would have been better if you were with him, may be I can't assure you we wouldn't, you say you dont want to be another Dekxa thapaliya of my life, I assure you, you aren't, you say you dont want me to be just another guy that you had rejected, I will never approach you, had it planned long ago that i wont do that. I assume, as far as my small brain understood, you dont want me to stay fucked up all the time thinking you are busy and concentrate on my studies and work hard. And i know i will work hard this time, its not an option. You say stop crying for small things, I am working on that. Its not that i dont want to live my life, but now a days its kind of suffocating me, dont know what, may be u talking to that new guy, may be you feel better talking to him because all I do is make u sad, make u angry and disappoint you. I understand that too. I dont want to hurt you neither get hurt.
All I want to say is I am very happy that u got the job, i must be the most happiest amongst everyone, I always wished your well being and wished your happiness, and will do that forever, I will do anything to make you happy, if i hurt you, i didnt meant to.
dont know what am i writing. i wanted to write something beautiful for you but this is all i could. i am sorry for every wrong thing i have said to you, i am sorry i made you feel that way, even your ex didnt made you feel, may be i want all of you to be mine but i know its not possible. I do have one request though, i know everything is falling apart, i aint the same guy you used to call pustakaari anymore, i know i am losing it. but i think i need you now more that ive ever needed. please dont give up on me.
with loads of love and appologies
yours pustakaari
